Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize