Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize