Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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