It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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