garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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