I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Found your dick twin last night
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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