we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize