i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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