so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
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I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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