Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she looked like the before picture.
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Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
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I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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