I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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