there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I enjoy the company of your penis
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