You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
smell my finger.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
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A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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