using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
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He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
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My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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