i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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