Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
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To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
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dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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