My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
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Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
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And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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