maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
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Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
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it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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