I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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