If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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