I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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