You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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