morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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