as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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