Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
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We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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