She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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