woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I need to calm my uterus...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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