I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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