Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
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The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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