Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
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Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
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I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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