After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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