hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize