you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize