he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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