Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize