I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize