TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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