she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize