u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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