What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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