i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
