Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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