Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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