Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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