if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
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We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
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She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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