It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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