on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
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We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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