she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize