So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
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Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
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I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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