I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
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Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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